Five Easy Steps to Saying No Without Feeling Guilty

Simply + Fiercely

Do you ever feel guilty about turning down invitations or requests? If so, here are five things that have helped me learn how to say no with kindness and grace.

For much of my life, I was a “yes” person. I wanted to be a good friend and a good employee, and I thought that this meant always going above and beyond.

“No” opens a beautiful fertile space for new ideas and relationships to grow.  So here is my little guide on how to say no with grace, not guilt.

How do your commitments reflect your priorities in life? Is there anything you could take off that list? Is there any uncomfortable “no, thank you” email you’ve been postponing? Take note of anything that’s out of alignment.

STEP #1 CONDUCT A SELF-AUDIT

By pausing for a moment, you’re allowing your mind to attune to this new habit. Imagine that your “no” is showing kindness to another person. It’s much better to decline than to accept and fail to deliver.

STEP #2 PAUSE BEFORE YOU SPEAK

In addition to saying no to other people, you can also practice saying no and setting firm boundaries with your self-imposed duties and expectations.

STEP #3 PRACTISE SAYING NO (WITH YOURSELF)

I decided to take small steps and started to say no to those close to my heart. I always did it with kindness and honesty and tried to be concise.

STEP #4 START SMALL

Uncomfortable decisions often leave us paralyzed with fear, and suffering from stomach aches, headaches, or tense muscles. These are all signals of a full-body NO.

STEP #5 TRUST YOUR GUT

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