Listen to your heart, do more of what you love and let go of all the rest.
Hello and welcome to Day 2 of With Intention, a week-long challenge designed to help you take the first steps towards simple and intentional living!
I want to begin today by saying a big thank you to everyone for supporting this challenge so far, with a special mention to those of you who took time to share your story in the comment section.
Writing online for the past few years has taught me that one of the biggest gifts we can offer the world is to share our stories and let others know they are not alone, so thank you for your generosity. ??
And speaking of sharing stories, as a reminder, I’m Jennifer and I created this challenge because I have a story to share with you.
A few years ago, I went from living a life “half-lived” to living with purpose. This means I stopped mindlessly doing what was expected of me and instead, made the decision to start living on my own terms. I learned how to clear the clutter from my life (both mental and physical) and now I have the time, space and energy for the things that really matter.
This change has brought so much joy to my life and now, I do my best to share what I’ve learned with others. When I think about how I used to feel in my daily life—overwhelmed, stuck, and hopeless—and I realise that there are many other people who still feel this way, every day, it breaks my heart because I know that something else is possible.
If this is you and you’re tired of just “going through the motions”, then it’s my sincere hope that something in this challenge will help you find your way forward. ✨
RECAP: Day 1 of With Intention was all about “waking up” to how we live our lives and then making the decision to choose the intentional path.
It’s a deceptively simple step but it’s SO important; you must reach a point where you draw a line in the sand and decide that you’re not going to settle for “just good enough” any longer.
To be clear, simple and intentional living doesn’t mean that you will have everything figured out, automatically achieve every goal you set for yourself, or never have to deal with stress again—BUT it does mean that you will move forward with purpose.
It’s a slow and imperfect process of crafting a life you love; it’s about trying—and sometimes failing—but it’s better than sitting on the sidelines and watching life pass you by.
WHAT TO EXPECT: During this challenge, I’ll take you through the pivotal moments of my personal journey towards simple and intentional living. You’ll find my stories, the lessons I learned and also simple activities YOU can do to live With Intention.
One thing that has always amazed me about life is how so much can change in such a short time—and this was certainly the case in 2012.
When we last spoke, I was telling you about my 30th birthday. I was celebrating in Australia with my husband, family and friends, and while I was definitely feeling unsettled on the inside, on the outside my life was safe and stable.
I was in a long-term relationship, I owned my own home, I had a respectable job and a shoe collection big enough to warrant its own closet … but by my 31st birthday, it was all gone.
It wasn’t planned—I didn’t wake up one day and decide to start over—but over the course of a year, my life unravelled.
I actually started by decluttering my home, which somehow led to a decision to leave my job and then to my surprise, things snowballed very quickly.
Within six months, I sold almost all my belongings, found a tenant for my house, left my job and moved to the other side of Australia. I was broke—in debt actually—but I maxed out my credit cards because I felt a desperate need for change.
But here’s the thing … it was a dramatic move but it wasn’t an act of intentional living. I wasn’t moving towards anything. Instead, I was running away from my life and not surprisingly, I soon found that my problems had followed me.
I was in a different town, with a different job and different friends, yet somehow nothing had changed. I still felt stuck and unsettled; I was longing for some different but I still didn’t know what I wanted or needed.
Again, I want to point out that I wasn’t so self-aware at the time. I wasn’t thinking, just reacting and when my big move didn’t bring me the satisfaction I’d hoped for, I decided to take things even further and cut the remaining ties to my old life.
After seven years, my marriage was over* and I bought a one-way ticket out of Australia.
On the morning of my 31st birthday, I woke up in the guest bedroom of my mother’s house in suburban Maryland, feeling pretty lost and alone.
I was single, unemployed, broke and embarrassed—and I was in way over my head. I had responsibilities, bills, steadily mounting debt and no idea how I was going to dig myself out the hole I’d created.
I had fulfilled the promise I made to myself on my 30th birthday; a year had passed and everything was different—just not in the way I’d hoped. ?
But there was a small light at the end of the tunnel…
That summer, with no expectations and no one to please, I started a journey of self-reflection—something I’d never really done before.
In the past, I’d always been too busy. Between long hours at work and my never-ending to-do list, making time to reflect had never seemed like a priority (or in truth, it seemed like a pretty unproductive way to way to spend my time).
But things were different now. I had plenty of time and nothing but questions, big ones like: “What did I want my life to look like?”
Strangely enough, it felt like the first time I’d ever asked this question—or at least, the first time I ever honestly answered it! I began exploring my personal values, learning about minimalism, and examining the choices that had shaped my life.
I didn’t realise it at the time, but this was another turning point. Slowly, I was creating the foundation upon which I rebuilt my life.
But more on that in part three of this challenge! For now, let’s focus on building a strong, intentional foundation for the next stage of YOUR life.
*Side note: I’ve received some feedback that I sound blasé about the end of my marriage. I can assure you this isn’t the case—it was a painful and difficult decision—but I’m not comfortable talking about the details online (hence the brevity in my writing).
Are you ready to take action and start living with intention?
If I could go back in time and give my younger self one piece of advice, it would be this:
If you want to live a life you truly love, the first and most important step is to define what matters most to you. After all, if you don’t know what you want your life to look like, how can you create it?
Friends, I can’t tell you how much I wish someone had given me this advice.
When I think about all the hours I’ve worked, all the money I’ve spent and all the tears I’ve cried—I’ve given up so much of myself chasing things that I didn’t really want or need.
I realise now that I could have spared myself a lot of pain and heartache by simply making time for self-reflection—so don’t make my mistake!
If you’re serious about living with intention, take a few minutes right now to think about what matters most to you.
Imagine you were in my shoes and starting your life over; if tomorrow was a blank slate, what kind of life would you create for yourself?
One simple way of doing this is to think about what makes a day a “good day” for you? When your head hits the pillow at the end of the day, how do you know it was a day well spent?
I encourage you not to get caught up with the big picture—don’t write down a list of goals you want to achieve. Instead, think about how you want to feel as you move through your day.
When you’re finished, let us know in the comments what makes a day a “good day” for you?
Is it a few minutes in the sunshine? Finding time to read a few pages of a good book? Or is it a long belly laugh with a loved one? ?
Write these things down! And if you’re feeling brave, share your answers below. The Simply + Fiercely community is warm and welcoming, and you never know if sharing your story might help someone else have a meaningful breakthrough.
PS: I know from the comments that some of you are struggling and I understand that when life’s hard, it’s easy to look at activities like this and think “what’s the point?”.
I know this because I’ve made this exact mistake a million times over. I remember looking at my life and feeling so hopelessly off-track—I thought it was too late to change anything so why bother trying. ??♀️
If you feel this way, then I want to be honest with you: doing this activity won’t change your life overnight … BUT if you’re open to it, it might be the first step on a journey to something better.
The choice is yours.
All the best,
xx Jen
My “good day” would be a day when I feel I have evolved in some way. Could be learning something new, cooking a new recipe, succeding in doing a workout I wasn’t able to before, or even improving my living space somehow. It aould also include a short period of quiet “me” time, and some time with my husband and cats.
My “Good day” would have to include making people laugh (such a good feeling, most especially since most ppl seem to think I am funny), having “me time” to reconnect with my soul (yoga, meditation, or prayer), growth (widening my knowledge in some form), creativity (I’ve recently taken up pottery, so that would be it), playing (connecting with my babies in a playful state), conversations (having deep conversations of growth and prosperity with others) and being very mindful of what I consume during this day.
Hi! I’m catching up a bit here… But I’m participating, so that makes me happy.
I was surprised by my answers for Day 2… It surprised me because this sort of thing has felt elusive to me for some time, but going through the excercise of what is an ideal day for me, gave me some clarity, that I was able to distill down to this list of how I want to feel everyday:
Playful
Grounded
healthy
organized
unrushed
Present
Thank you!
Laughing!!! True, honest, compassionate friendships and relationships that empathetically mourn with you in your dark times and cheer with you in the sunshine. Having “my people”… a “tribe” to call my own is something that my younger self could never imagine my future without. But life happens and now I find myself with not even a solitary acquaintance. The ability to lay my head on the pillow at night recollecting carefree smiles, chats and laughs with friends would be a day well spent!
Coming home to our place and feeling loved, and safe. In my work I give a lot to others and while I love what I do, I am blessed t have a comfortable home and a loving partner to walk in to at the end of the day. Getting outside and making good choices about my health also makes for a good day, but it hasn’t been high on my priority list lately and that needs to change.
When I feel like I’ve had moments of connectedness, with my family or patients/coworkers, it feels like a good day. Also if I make time to do something healthy for myself whether it’s exercising or cooking a real meal. Spending time outdoors always refreshes me as well, and I aim to read something every night. I need to spend less time on my phone and I know I could accomplish these things more often!
I’d love to wake up a little earlier than my 3 year old and have a simple eat breakfast. I usually do avocado toast do yoga and enjoy it! I always plan to do it and it end up being skipped. Get ready for my day slow and get the tasks for the day done early. Maybe go to a lunch with some I love it am interested in and have a wonderful conversation about anything! Maybe go home early cuddle and watch movies. I want to enjoy the outdoors. I live very close to beautiful beaches and I can’t tell you last time I went and enjoyed it. No screaming kids no time frames and rushing. Just peace. I want to enjoy my surroundings I don’t want to worry about what’s next where should I be what should I be getting done?? I want to enjoy the simple things!
“Most importantly, the perfect day is one where I feel valued, safe, loved and whole.” Is very very accurate!
Thank you for that!
Similar to other comments, covid19 has flagged up for me what really matters to me, I have a one year old grandson, spending time with him and being present to see him discover the world is so precious. I have been lax in the past in investing in friendships and relationships, wastefully thinking I had time and opportunity and could suit myself. It’s too easy to use, in varying degrees, food,shopping, surfing the web, tv and social media, as a form of emotional analgesia. It doesn’t work, the results for me have been, increasing weight, insomnia, isolating myself and facing increased health problems not to mention lowering my chances of surviving covid19. I realise this all sounds pretty negative. I think being honest with yourself and making small but consistent changes, is positive. The de-cluttering and simplifying of my home and routines have helped me keep my head mostly above water. I’m not sure I know what a perfect day would look like.
I think my “good day” would start with waking up and spending time alone in my thoughts with a quick workout, mental health is so important to me! A day with adventures with my littles, they get so excited and happy with the smallest things and it really gives life perspective. Add that to time with friends and family cooking out, great music, and ENJOYING PEOPLE, truly just relaxing with our circle that loves us unconditionally.
but the truth that makes it a good day is that is peaceful- without chaos, no toddler fights, speaking to each other big and small with kindness and respect. Appreciating each other, soaking in the moments together.
Simple living matters to me. Quality over quantity. Having meaningful relationships-connecting with, feeling appreciated and loved by family, friends and my significant other. Having ‘me time’ for self-reflection, meditation, yoga, reading, writing and various creative endeavors. Being healthy, fit, fabulous and funny – to enrich my mind, body and spirit. As an introvert – try new things and be more spontaneous – stretch beyond my comfort zone to feel more alive and free. Further my work in Reiki, a hands on healing practice, and massage. Publish my book. Live in a warm, moderate climate near the ocean with enough $ to live comfortably and visit more often those I hold dear. Basically just live really well, love really well and laugh a lot along the way. NOTE: This is a life plan in progress, to be sure. Thanks Jennifer, for offering this ‘With Intention Challenge’. It has definitely helped me solidify my goals for a better life!
What matters most to me? Of course the list pops into mind – my partner, family, friends, pets, hobbies, career… but am I just on autopilot in making this list?
I contemplated this for a while. I had to dig deep and realize that what matters most isn’t just the people in my life or the achievements I’ve made, but the little moments that make up the most ideal day. For me, this is waking up after a good nights’ sleep and curling up with a cup of coffee and a good book (made all the better if my dog decides to curl up next to me). This is eating food that nourishes me. This includes self-care, like taking the time to wash my face, shower regularly, and do my nails once in a while. My perfect day includes time for creating, whether that’s taking time to sketch out a cool portrait, or create a new cut on the potter’s wheel. This day also has time for my partner, my friends and my family unencumbered by that inner voice that tells me I’m not worthy of their love. Most importantly, the perfect day is one where I feel valued, safe, loved and whole.
Wow that sound rich I had a heart I had a hard time with this I didn’t want to do it cuz it sounded so fantasy I spent most of my years dreaming of a life that I have in a way but it didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to be I got to do the things that I wanted to do but they didn’t last long enough and I got to do them and got to go places I wanted to be but throughout the whole journey I’ve been alone sometimes by choice and sometimes I tried to make friends and I just couldn’t connect with anyone. So my life would be creative something creative everyday like someone else said in a previous comment waking up after a good night’s sleep not rushing but slowly taking the time to get some coffee take in the sun rise reading my Bible making breakfast fill in my space with good smelling food that tastes even better watering my plants digging in my garden finding new ways of using the same food that I have planning a trip anywhere overseas in the next 6 months living somewhere close by the ocean that I can get two year round seen the sunrise and sunset everyday being able to take my feet in the sand hearing the ocean waves crash on a nightly basis that that’s my chamomile and if I have to work I have to be creative I have to be resourceful I have to have the opportunity and flexibility to help people and be creative live in a climate that is warm 90% of the time I spent most of my years traveling to see family so if I do do that it’ll be new family that I don’t know not the ones I do and last but not least taking a cross-country trip for 4 months
“Most importantly, the perfect day is one where I feel valued, safe, loved and whole.” well said. My list had other activities, but this perfectly explains the feelings at then end of a really good day!!
A perfect day for me is one where I can be creative, active or social. Or dream about future travel.
wake up around 6 , pray , gym, play with kids ,work ,play with kids , play foot ball , dance , watch some movies . go to bed
I wrote out a long message here… and lost it?so here it is in a nutshell.
I remember trying to start decluttering about 20 YEARS ago. Fast forward to now. My car has the remnants of market stall which is the culmination of getting my home to the beautifully decluttered state it is in now. It will stay this way as when I looked around the massive garage sale I had, I felt physically ill looking at all the STUFF that used to be MONEY. Not a good feeling. When you add time it took to collect all that stuff, it’s a massive waste.
No more looking in BuySwapSell sites. No more holding garage sales and market sales. More enjoyable time for me to make art and beautify my life.
Thank you for this. It’ll still be a help even though I do wish I found it a lot of years ago, better late than never.