I’m one of those people that sometimes struggles to see really obviously things until they are right in front of my face.
When I was 23 I spent a summer living in a tiny village in Ireland, which sounds much more exciting than it really was. I worked in the local pub and the only other business in the village was a small corner shop.
Out of boredom, I would visit the corner shop a few times a week and I was thrilled to learn they sold pints of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. (As a side note, at that age I could eat anything under the sun and still look like a toothpick.) Well I thought I could. Until the Summer of Ben & Jerry’s.
For several months, I ate pints of ice cream 3-4 times a week. (I think you can see where this is story is going.) But guess what? I could not. One fine autumn day I put on my jeans and I was COMPLETELY shocked that they did not fit.
The moral of this entertaining story?
You can’t always trust what your brain is telling you. (And maybe sometimes eat ice cream in moderation. Maybe.)
So, on a more serious note, the fact is our brains can’t always be trusted. Most of us are, to varying extents, dishonest with ourselves.
There are many reasons why we aren’t truthful; here are just a few that resonate with me:
- We can’t acknowledge when we’re wrong because it is painful to admit we’ve made mistakes.
- We are scared to go against what is social acceptable, so we pretend we want what everyone else wants.
- We confuse the lives we wish we had with the lives we really have, and can’t tell the difference.
In short, we try and protect ourselves and usually, we don’t even realise it’s happening.
But despite the best intentions of our well meaning brains, it’s very hard to be happy unless we’re honest with ourselves. It’s called living authentically and it’s important because:
If you don’t know what’s wrong, how can you fix it?
If you don’t know what you want, how can you chase it?
And face it, your gut knows. If the life you’re living doesn’t match what you feel in your heart, it hurts.
But where do you start? If you want to change, you need to be honest, but if you don’t know you’re lying, how can you change?
INTRODUCING THE HONESTY SERIES
How did I know it was finally time to lay off the Ben & Jerry’s? (sob)
Because my generously sized bum could not fit into my very expensive Topshop jeans.
In other words, sometimes we need a wake up call. A jolt of self-awareness.
And the #honestyseries was born.
Every few weeks, I’ll be asking big questions to inspire authentic living and new perspectives about relationships, money, values, dreams and more. My hope is to encourage you to explore, to write, to share, and to ultimately listen to your heart and live the life you want most.
The first post in this series will be out later this week, but until then – Have you ever failed to see the obvious? Are there any topics you’d like explored in this series? Or we can just talk more about ice cream – hit me up in the comments! x x
PS: If you have a spare 15 minutes, I highly recommend you check out this fantastic TED talk that better explains the “Psychology of Self Deception” (but sadly does not include funny ice cream stories.)
photo credit: Jonas Nilsson Lee // Used with permission
Sounds like a great series! Looking forward to seeing what topics you’ll put the spotlight on.
Thanks for commenting! xx
I can’t wait to read this series! I can probably already see where the change needs to be done, just need some more guts 🙂 or maybe more patience to see if I seriously need to change or just give some time to a situation to see if it is really wrong for me? I am so confused 🙂 I need this series 😀
Hello Lau! I think you’re the best friend I have for talking honestly! I’m sure these posts will encourage MANY discussions between us. Thanks for commenting xxx
I’ve been trying to make an effort to be more honest with myself and to look at the whole picture rather than just the parts I want to see. I think sometimes I get caught up in what I want and I don’t appreciate the now or the journey of getting to where I want to be. I look forward to reading more about honesty series!
Hi Erin, thank you for stopping by! I’ve noticed with myself it can be challenging because it’s so hard to recognise! I’m definitely still a ‘work in progress’ but I’m so excited by these kind words and the idea that we can all have an honest discussion together!
This Might be a topic for discussion and at least one to be honest in. I recently became a mama to 3 kids through adoption, I have a great friend in life, she’s single. I’ve been married 5 years, she can’t seem to find the right guy. These “seaons” in life shouldn’t define our friendship but we seem to be growing apart. We are good at having honest conversations about it but many others in similar friendships are not. Just a thought. Sounds like a great series!
Wow, what a big change! I understand what you mean about “seasons” and friendship. I have a lot of great friends that are now mums (I’m not) but also friends who are still single and going out all the time (I’m not that either.) It is a bit of a balance … definitely an inspiring topic. I’ll have to think about it more! Thanks for the idea 🙂
Can’t wait for this series to take off! Sometimes we have to speak honestly about life changes– little things can be as powerful as big, deep revelations!
Thanks for joining the discussion! I definitely agree, and I think questions and discussion are the best ways to inspire honest thinking – hopefully this series will offer both! 🙂
It’s funny you’ve launched this series a couple of days after listening to the Radio Lab’s episode on Deception: http://www.radiolab.org/story/91612-deception/. It’s difficult to be honest about something that’s painful–I’m working on being OK if I fail or make a mistake.
Hi Claudia, thanks for sharing that link and commenting! I’ll have a listen tonight. And I completely understand how you feel xx