Why popular decluttering questions like “Does this spark joy?” or “Would I buy this again?” don’t always work—and what to ask instead
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard of Marie Kondo’s famous approach to decluttering (and maybe even seen the memes it inspired, where people are tossing their bills and bras!).
It’s not bad advice, and I love it in theory … but it doesn’t work for everyone.
In fact, questions like these might be exactly why decluttering feels so hard.
If you struggle with decisions because you want to keep everything or you’re just not getting the results you want, this post is for you. I’m sharing a new perspective that will change the way you declutter for good.
Why “Joy” Isn’t Always a Helpful Measure
In the words of Oliver Burkeman, we are “finite creatures existing in this world of infinite inputs and opportunities.” And if you need proof, hop on Amazon.
There, you’ll find thousands of things that could potentially “spark joy”, and most of those items can be shipped and delivered within 24 hours.
And that’s not a criticism—it’s normal to enjoy a cosy sweater or a good book. But the problem is we live in a world with an infinite supply of cosy sweaters and good books!
All this to say that “sparking joy” isn’t a great measure when trying to declutter because it’s not very limiting. (And the same goes with “Would I buy this again?” because despite how you might feel now, odds are you’ll repeat the same habits.)
This is why we need a different approach to decluttering.
Decluttering is a Strategic Decision
Let’s imagine that you’re planning to sell your house and want to make a few improvements to increase its value. But where to begin?
There are probably a thousand things you could do, from little jobs like pulling weeds in the garden to bigger jobs like renovating the bathroom. All of these projects might “spark joy” in a potential buyer, but knowing that you have limited time and money, my guess is you’ll focus on the projects that have the greatest ROI.
It’s not always easy—in fact, it’s probably frustrating that you can’t do “all the things” you want to do—but you know you need to be selective. You think about your goals and then decide what projects are worth your time because when renovating, you need to make hard choices.
And here’s the thing: that’s not just true when renovating. The exact same philosophy should apply to your decluttering.
The Method I Use With My Decluttering Clients
Next time you’re decluttering, here’s a method that will help you be more selective while also creating a home that aligns with your values and priorities. (This is the same method I teach inside my paid programs!)
Step 1: Know Your Vision
In our example, the homeowner’s goal is to maximise his return on investment, which might be one of your aims with decluttering. But for most, it’s more about creating a peaceful home environment or even clearing mental space so you can have more time for loved ones.
Everyone has different goals and priorities, so there’s no one right answer. But getting clear on your vision for your home before you begin provides a compass to guide your decluttering.
Step 2: Use It to Make Decisions
Instead of asking, “Does this spark joy?” Try asking, “Does this item move me closer to my vision—or further away?” or “What am I giving up in exchange for keeping this item?”
These questions are more effective because they acknowledge that you like lots of your things, which is a common decluttering challenge. (I have so many clients who tell me, “I love all my stuff; I just have too much of it!”) In a world of so much great stuff, of course you do!
But sometimes, that “great stuff” costs you even better stuff, like your time, money, and energy.
Step 3: Choose Great Over Good
There will always be more things to buy, do, or keep—but you are a person with limits (even if you don’t want to admit it!).
These limits mean that tradeoffs are a necessary part of life. As a former shopaholic, I once owned over a hundred pairs of shoes and loved them so much! In fact, I still love them, and window shopping for shoes is now one of my guilty pleasures.
But I gave up my collection because:
- Storage space is limited, and there are better things I could do with my money.
- Owning lots of shoes when I didn’t have an active social life made me feel sad and “less than.”
- My foot health is more important.
Yes, my shoe collection sparked joy, but the life I have now sparks considerably more.
Getting Unstuck with Decluttering
Of course, I still think that “joy” should play an important role in decluttering, but this only works when we’re clear on what matters. The joy I get from a new sweater can’t hold a candle to the joy I get from cuddles with my little ones or, in most cases, the joy I get from a well-deserved nap!
Finding this distinction and using it to guide you is one way to get unstuck with decluttering.
The other way is to listen to the stories behind your stuff and to identify thoughts and beliefs that keep you stuck. If you need help with this, here are some decluttering resources for you:
