Your Stuff Tells a Story (And Why That Matters for Decluttering)

We talk a lot about decluttering in terms of space—what fits in a drawer, what sparks joy, what’s “useful.” But the truth is, so much of what we keep has nothing to do with utility or aesthetics.

It’s about the stories.

A travel backpack you haven’t touched in years. A tattered menu from a family restaurant long since closed. An old notebook filled with high school poetry or job interview notes.

These things don’t serve a purpose anymore, but they remind you who you were or who you hoped to be, and that’s why letting go can feel so complicated. Keep reading to learn why that matters and how to move forward with decluttering. 

One of My Stories …

My brother died when he was 21—and while I rarely talk publicly about my loss, I think about him often. And one thing I’ve learned is that there are many layers to grief.

First, there’s the initial shock that there will never be another hug or a late-night chat.

Then, it’s the “what could have been’s” that eat you alive. He’ll never meet my children. He’ll never have his own. 

It’s hard to fathom sometimes.

Still, as I get older, I realise that I miss him because he was a witness to my life. I didn’t have an easy childhood, and there are very few people who truly understand.

He was one of them, and now that he’s gone, the stories from my childhood feel… flimsy. 

Sometimes, I’m not even sure what’s real anymore, and it feels like I’m slowly losing a small piece of who I am.

I’m sharing this because I’ve realised we sometimes feel this way about stuff, too.

Our Stuff Is Personal—And That’s OK

We’re often told that clutter is “just stuff,” but this perspective denies its emotional weight. Our belongings are tied to people, places, and even parts of ourselves. There are stories, and those stories matter. 

• An old concert t-shirt might represent your “fun-loving” side (a side of you that feels far away since starting your new job).
  
• And that stack of baby clothes? A season of life that feels impossibly far away now that your kids have moved out of home.
  
• An unused box of art supplies or craft materials? Sometimes, it feels like letting go of a version of yourself that never got a chance, and you’re left wondering what could have been.

This connection gives your possessions meaning, and it’s what makes decluttering so difficult. Letting go can feel like forgetting or losing part of your story. Advice like “Your memories live in your heart, not your stuff” might be true in theory but can feel dismissive in practice. 

How to Honour the Story Without Keeping the Item

The goal isn’t to erase your past. It’s to honour it—then choose, with intention, what gets to stay.

Here are a few ways to hold space for the story, even as you let go of the object:

• Write about it — journal what it meant to you or what it reminds you ofm
• Photograph it — and save the image in a memory folder
• Share it — tell the story to someone else (this is one of my favourite methods!)
• Create rituals — e.g. light a candle as you let it go, say thank you aloud
  

These small acts of mindfulness can soften the process and help you move forward with clarity and grace.

You Get to Choose What Comes With You

Decluttering isn’t about pretending something doesn’t matter.
It’s about saying: “This mattered. And now I’m ready to let it go.”

You’re not erasing your story—you’re simply choosing which parts to carry forward.

Let’s look at some of the examples from earlier:

• I know that old concert shirt is from your carefree, adventurous years, and it is hard to let go of those memories. But maybe being fun-loving looks different now, and decluttering is the first step to embracing it?
• Baby clothes are tough (my youngest is four, so I understand!). But decluttering can be a way of intentionally closing a chapter. Keep one or two special pieces, and make letting go of the rest a celebration of what’s to come.
• Getting rid of craft supplies you never used can feel sad, and a sense of “what if?” makes it hard. But flip the narrative. Yes, it’s challenging to let go of what might have been. But what if making space allows something new to take root—something you haven’t even imagined yet?

I know that decluttering isn’t easy, and many big emotions are involved. But it’s also an opportunity, and I can’t wait to see what happens next!

More Decluttering Tips for Emotional Clutter

If this post strikes a chord, you might also enjoy:

• Decluttering with Self-Kindness: How to Let Go Without Shame or Regret
• Letting Go When Decluttering: How to Make Peace with Uncertainty
• Why Clutter Clearing Can Feel Impossible + What To Do About It
• How to Let Go of Sentimental Items While Decluttering

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