What My Five-Year-Old Taught Me About Decluttering (A Quick but Effective Tip)

Inside: A quick decluttering trick that will help you let go of clutter more easily.

Lately, my five-year-old has been very clear about one thing: he is not a baby anymore. If I slip up and call him “my baby,” he straightens his back, folds his arms, and says, “Mummy, I said don’t call me that!”

He says it with such conviction that I can’t help but laugh. There’s something about the way he believes it — no hesitation, no confusion. He knows who he is, and he’s sticking to it.

So when it came time to declutter his toys recently, I decided to use this to my advantage. We went through his room together, and every time we came across something he hadn’t played with in a while, I asked, “Do you still want this? It seems kind of babyish to me…”

He’d think for a moment, give a little shrug, and then say, “Yeah, that’s for babies.” Into the donation box it went.

Of course, he still kept some things (he is five after all!). But I was genuinely amazed at how easily he let go of so much. It wasn’t because I’d convinced him, or because I gave him a strategy — it was because he’d already decided who he was.

And that got me thinking: what if we approached our own decluttering the same way?

Who Do You Want to Be?

As adults, we’re not so different from kids. We have beliefs about who we think we are, and then we tend to keep things that reflect these beliefs. 

For example, when I first got married, I thought there were certain things a newly married couple should have. A nice serving platter, wine glasses, various kitchen appliances, throw cushions, and I can’t even remember what else!

But I do remember filling my cart at Ikea and needing a rental van to get it all home …

There was a lot I never used, but I kept everything because that’s what I thought I was supposed to do. Even worse, I doubled down, buying more and more — until one day I woke up in a house full of stuff that felt nothing like me. 

Decluttering as an Act of Becoming

If you can relate, why not embrace the wisdom of my five-year-old? 

Instead of starting with stuff, think about the kind of person you want to be. 

In this season of life, I’m forty-four years old, divorced, and tired of trying to fit into a mould that society expects from me. Instead, I want to be confident, free-spirited and free. 

• I want to be the kind of woman who can put everything down if a friend invites me out for coffee.
• The kind of woman who opens the door when someone drops by unexpectedly and doesn’t panic about the state of her home.
• The kind of woman who gets dressed easily in the morning because everything in her wardrobe feels good, not because it looks “right.”

And if I lean into those beliefs — with the same conviction as my son leans into his— then what would I no longer keep?

• Would I hang onto jeans that don’t fit, “just in case”?
• Would I store boxes of things I never use because I spent a lot?
• Would I hold onto half-finished projects just because I “should” finish them?

When I ask myself these questions, letting go suddenly feels easier. Because decluttering isn’t just about tidying up — it’s about aligning your environment with your identity.

Related Post: How to Declutter When You Regret Spending Money

A Thought Exercise for You

Here’s a little experiment you can try the next time you feel stuck while decluttering.

Instead of asking, “Do I need this?” or “Does this spark joy?” — try asking:

• Who do I want to be in this season of life?
• What would that version of me keep?
• And what would she confidently let go of?

Close your eyes and picture this version of yourself. What does her home look like? And how does she move through it?

Then, with that image in mind, return to your things. You might just find that the decisions you’ve been agonising over suddenly feel simpler.

Decluttering doesn’t have to be about deprivation or guilt. Sometimes it’s about catching up to yourself — recognising that you’ve grown, you’ve changed, and you deserve a space that reflects that.

After all, if my five-year-old can let go of his “baby” toys because he knows exactly who he is now, then surely, we can learn to do the same.

More Quick and Easy Decluttering Tips

If you enjoyed this post, you might also like:

Decluttering with Self-Kindness: How to Let Go Without Shame or Regret – Did you know that beating yourself up over clutter mistakes – “How did I let it get like this? – actually makes it harder to declutter? And that self-kindness is actually the secret to letting go? 

4 Things I Wish More People Knew About Decluttering – If you feel stuck or overwhelmed, here’s what I’d tell (as someone who has spent the past decade helping others declutter). 

8 Tips That Will Help You Find Motivation to Declutter – Because sometimes getting started with decluttering is the most challenging part! 

How to Let Go of Sentimental Items While Decluttering – I’m a highly-sensitive person, and I found it so hard to let go of sentimental items … until I found an approach that works.