3 Important Lessons on Finding Balance in Life

Everyone talks about finding balance, but over the years, I’ve realised it’s not something you “find” once and keep forever.

Instead, it’s more like a dance — one that changes with the seasons of life. Some days you move with ease, other days you stumble, and sometimes you fall flat on your face.

But then you get back up, shake it off, and life goes on.

It’s a lesson I’ve learned time and again (thanks to motherhood and self-employment — two of life’s greatest teachers). With both come seemingly endless demands, and it can feel impossible to keep up. There never seems to be enough time, energy, or money…or at least, that’s the story I’m often tempted to tell myself. 

But is it the truth?  I don’t think so. The older I get, the more I believe that balance is possible — it’s just different from what we expect. Keep reading for a new perspective that helps me stay grounded, no matter what life throws my way.

How To Find Balance in Life

Lesson #1: Accept That Balance Doesn’t Look Like “Balance”

When I was younger, I used to think that finding balance meant being able to devote myself to all the things that were important to me, in somewhat equal measure, every day.

Picture an old fashioned scale with weights that represent all my “should do’s” on either side. These include things like:

• Finding time for self-care 
• Spending quality time with friends and family 
• Doing productive work
• Keeping my house clean 
• And so on and so on…

I expected myself to get all of these things done every day and if I did, the scale stayed level and my life was “balanced”. 

Conversely, if I didn’t manage to check everything off (which was almost always), the scale would tip to one side and balance would be lost. I’d go to bed feeling like a failure. Another day was done and I’d dropped the ball again. 

But this was my first mistake. 

The framework with which I judged myself made no sense. It was too short-sighted. After all, my goal is to live a balanced life—so why was I so focused on what I could accomplish in a mere 24 hours? 

I needed to take a step back and look at the big picture. 

What was I doing over the course of a week or even a month? 

What I realised is that, to balance your life, sometimes important things need to sit on the back burner for a while. You don’t have to keep all of your balls in the air at once. It’s OK to put some of them down for a while. 

Practically speaking, this means that sometimes I work 14 hours days in order to meet a deadline while dirty dishes pile in the sink. Other times, I enjoy long lunches with friends and completely ignore my inbox. 

On a daily level, life might look chaotic and messy—but when you step back and reflect on the big picture, you might find the balance you’re searching for is already there. You just need to be a little kinder to yourself.  

TIP: It’s OK to put things down for a while, as long as you don’t forget to come back for them later. This is why I highly recommend creating a system to check in with yourself weekly or monthly. If you need help with this, I teach a step-by-step system for doing quarterly life audits and weekly reviews in my course Values + Vision.

Lesson #2: Realise That Balance is a State of Mind

A lot of people think balance is about finding a way to “do it all.” They treat life like a giant jigsaw puzzle — if you just keep fiddling with the pieces, you’ll eventually find the right combination of productivity hacks, and then everything will fall into place.

But life doesn’t work that way.

We all have limited time, money and energy and at the end of the day, there is only so much you can do. No hack or trick will save you if you’re trying to do more than you’re physically capable of doing. That’s the hard truth.

Balance is what happens when you accept this reality.

For example, I’m a single mother who shares 50/50 custody of my children. I’m also a small business owner responsible for paying my bills. I have two strong, competing priorities — and if I’m not careful, it’s easy to beat myself up about all the things I want to do but can’t.

It’s tempting, and I’m not perfect, so I definitely allow myself to wallow sometimes! But then I remind myself that I’m human, and there’s only so much I can do in a day. Beating myself up or spiralling into stress doesn’t change anything.

I can’t magically create more hours in the day, but I can change how I feel about the time I have — and for me, that’s what balance is really about.

Lesson #3: Realise That Balance Comes From Being True to Yourself

When life feels full — or entirely out of balance — I’ve noticed that a lot of my stress comes from invisible pressure. It’s not just the workload or the logistics; it’s the weight of all the expectations I carry.

Think of it this way: we live in a world that’s very good at telling us who we should be and what we should care about. A “good mother” does this, a “successful woman” does that, and somewhere along the way, our own voices get lost in the noise.

That’s why, for me, finding balance isn’t just about how I spend my time — it’s about whether my choices reflect what truly matters to me.

Of course, this isn’t always easy. Some seasons of life don’t leave much room for choice, and sometimes the things that fill our days are simply non-negotiable. But even then, it helps to pause and ask myself a few gentle questions:

Am I doing this because it matters to me, or because I feel I should? Is this expectation really mine, or something I’ve absorbed from the world around me?

• Think about your Pilates class: do you go because you enjoy it? Or because it’s what all the other women in your social group do? 
• And what about holiday decorating? Is it an important tradition, or are you worried what the neighbours will think if you go over the top? 
• Are you working late because your career is important to you? Or because you want other people to think you’re successful? 

When I can answer those questions honestly — even if I can’t change the situation — life feels a little lighter. The noise quiets down.

Because the truth is, you can’t always control your circumstances, but you can practice living in alignment with your values, even in small ways. That’s what balance looks like to me now — not perfect equality, but an ongoing conversation with myself about what matters most.

Final Thoughts on Finding Balance

To be clear, I think that productivity hacks and good time management are important for living a balanced life—but they are tools that can only help you if you start with the right mindset. 

You must first:

• Make sure you’re looking at the big picture. Don’t judge yourself by what you accomplish in a day. Instead, scale-up: look at how you spend your weeks or even months. 
• Set realistic expectations. We all have limits and the sooner you accept yours, the easier it will be to find balance.  
• Tune out the noise. Stop trying to please everyone and instead, focus on what you need most from your life right now. 

These steps will help you get clear about what a balanced life means to you and then, once you have a clear vision of what you’re trying to achieve, you can do the work to make it happen. 

Learn More About Living a Balanced Life

If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy:

• Finding the Balance Between Rest + Hustle
• Doing Less + A Lesson in Self-Worth
• 4 Practical Ways to Prevent Burnout + Combat Overwhelm
• 5 Easy Ways to Simplify Your Daily Routines

What’s been your experience with finding balance? Are you able to make time for the things that matter most? Or do you struggle to keep all your balls in the air? Let us know how you’re doing in the comments! x