I recently discovered the “We Do Not Care” Movement, founded by Melani Sanders on Instagram (@justbeingmelani), and as a woman in her mid-forties, it resonated.
If you haven’t come across Melani and WDNC, it’s all about celebrating what we simply don’t care about anymore as we move through midlife and beyond. Things like tweezing your eyebrows, going braless in public, or turning down your music to park the car.
In other words, it’s a joyful rebellion against all the expectations we’ve been carrying for decades — and really, that should be an anthem for anyone, at any age.
So, in that same spirit, I’ve written a list of six things to declutter when you’ve had enough and you’re ready to embrace your own flavour of WDNC. Here’s to letting go, lightening up, and being unapologetically yourself.
1. The lemons
I’ve had enough of keeping things that don’t live up to their promises.
The shoes that promised comfort but shred your heels. The kitchen gadget that was supposed to “save hours” but has only gathered dust. The fancy hair towel that never dries properly. These are the lemons—items that never lived up to their sales pitch.
Instead, they act as energy vampires. You spent money buying them, and now they keep costing you time and energy while adding nothing to your life.
Tip: Cut your losses. Stop throwing good money after bad — and remember, this can apply to more than just “stuff.”
2. The not-good-enough brigade
As I get older, I am done with anything that makes me feel like crap for being myself.
- If you have a yoga mat you never use, and every time you look at it, you beat yourself up for not working out? Let it go.
- If you have a drawer of skincare products that make you feel like you need to “fix” your face? Let it go.
- And if you have a relationship where interaction leaves you feeling like you’re failing? Let it go too.
Tip: Ask yourself, “Do I like how I feel when I see this?” If the answer is no, it’s time to part ways.
3. The half-finisheds
Your time is limited and precious, and in a world of infinite possibilities, there will always be more things you want to do than you’ll ever have time for.
It’s frustrating, I know — I’m still coming to terms with this myself! But at the end of the day, we need to be picky about how we spend our energy, which is why the next category is the “half-finisheds.”
Think of the scarf that only made it three rows in, the scrapbook with one lonely page, or the chair you meant to reupholster years ago. If the project truly excites you and you know you’ll finish it soon, wonderful. But if it just makes you sigh every time you see it, then it’s just adding more pressure to your never-ending to-do list.
Consider this your permission slip to let go.
4. The people-pleasers
I’ve been teaching decluttering courses for the past five years, and one pattern I see again and again is the link between people pleasing and clutter.
Consider this list:
- The vase you kept because your mother-in-law gave it to you.
- The fundraiser chocolates you bought even though you didn’t want them.
- The free tote bag shoved into the back of your closet.
None of these things were chosen with you in mind. Instead, they came into your home because it felt easier to say “yes” than “no.” But enough is enough. Moving your own needs to the front of the line is not selfish; it’s sanity.
Tip: Remind yourself: you can appreciate the thought, support the cause, or smile politely without keeping the clutter.
5. The “why am I still doing this?” list
Sometimes clutter hides in our routines, not just our cupboards. Weekly ironing even though you don’t care about crisp shirts. Cooking recipes no one actually enjoys. Buying magazines that go straight from the letterbox to the recycling bin. It’s busywork masquerading as tradition.
Tip: Give yourself permission to stop. Decluttering isn’t just about stuff—it’s also about reclaiming your time and energy.
6. The space hogs
Some things in our homes act like bad roommates—they take up all the space, contribute nothing, and somehow make you feel guilty for even thinking about asking them to leave. I’m talking about the treadmill that’s now a coat rack, the casserole dish you used once in 2007, or the giant beanbag that swallows half the lounge but no one’s sat in since the kids were little.
These items might have made sense once, but now they’re just loitering. And while they sit there, they quietly shrink the space you actually live in. Because clutter isn’t just messy—it’s demanding. It takes energy to step around it, clean under it, and keep justifying its existence.
Tip: Ask yourself, “If this space were empty, what would it give back to me?” If the answer is peace, room to move, or simply less irritation, it’s time to let the space-hog go.
Decluttering doesn’t have to mean tackling your whole house in one exhausting swoop. Sometimes it’s enough to say, “I’m sick of this”, and clear out the things that annoy you most.
A good clean out won’t solve everything, but it can help you breathe easier and care a little less — and that’s worth celebrating.
Need help letting go?
If this post resonated, but you need help letting go – be sure to check out:
Decluttering with Self-Kindness: How to Let Go Without Shame or Regret – If you ever beat yourself up about clutter, this post is for you. It’s compassionate and practical.
Reframing the Way You Look at Clutter (A Decluttering Mindset Shift) – Discover five powerful mindset shifts that will help you let go with confidence and create a home that truly supports you.
A Powerful Decluttering Hack No One Talks About – This simple hack can change the way you declutter … So why is no one talking about it? Try this tip if you’re struggling to let go (and you just might find you enjoy decluttering more than you expected!).
Give him a spot to drop his stuff
would love to know the advice you gave commenter on her issue with her husband (not wanting to get rid of anything) … one of my many excuses for not starting!!!
Give him his own place to drop his stuff
Hi Maria! I can’t remember my exact response but here is the reply I sent to someone else who had the same question:
Yes, it is incredibly hard to get someone to change when they don’t want to. There are, unfortunately, no magic answers.
However, my approach to decluttering is very values-led. What do you want in your life more than you want stuff? I talk about this in the decluttering guide, but you might also be able to use it to appeal to your husband.
Is there anything he’s passionate about? And could we frame decluttering as a way of creating more space for those passions?
It takes some creative thinking and it’s not always possible to convince someone to change. But framing it as, “hey, if we cleared out the ___ from this room, we’d have more space for ___” (insert something he wants) is often more effective than arguing or using guilt, etc.
Or if you have children, framing decluttering as an act of love (so your loved ones don’t have to deal with your stuff after you’re gone) might appeal?
Of course, the other problem is there’s usually more to clutter. People who struggle to let go usually have some sort of underlying story that keeps them feeling attached (maybe as a child your husband wasn’t allowed to keep things so now he clings to them, for example). There are conversations you could have …
But yes, ultimately you can lead a horse to water but can’t make them drink!
So feel free to vent — I know it’s so challenging — and if there’s anything I can do to help you with your clutter, let me know.
Side note: if you sign up for my decluttering guide, you automatically get a series of emails that share more about my perspective and how I approach decluttering. You might find some ideas/perspectives there that will help as well. Scroll up a bit for the form to sign up!
What to do when you want to let things go and have a home that is for our life’s now but husband will let nothing go even if it is covered in dust and cobwebs…I am beyond frustrated and hurt. I ask him not to lay things on every flat space and I mean every flat place and I look and flat clean places are covered with misc things nothing is even the same. I clean them and in two days they are covered.
Give him a spot to drop his stuff
Hi Kay,
Here is a reply I sent to someone else with the same question.
Yes, it is incredibly hard to get someone to change when they don’t want to. There are, unfortunately, no magic answers.
However, my approach to decluttering is very values-led. What do you want in your life more than you want stuff? I talk about this in the decluttering guide, but you might also be able to use it to appeal to your husband.
Is there anything he’s passionate about? And could we frame decluttering as a way of creating more space for those passions?
It takes some creative thinking and it’s not always possible to convince someone to change. But framing it as, “hey, if we cleared out the ___ from this room, we’d have more space for ___” (insert something he wants) is often more effective than arguing or using guilt, etc.
Or if you have children, framing decluttering as an act of love (so your loved ones don’t have to deal with your stuff after you’re gone) might appeal?
Of course, the other problem is there’s usually more to clutter. People who struggle to let go usually have some sort of underlying story that keeps them feeling attached (maybe as a child your husband wasn’t allowed to keep things so now he clings to them, for example). There are conversations you could have …
But yes, ultimately you can lead a horse to water but can’t make them drink!
So feel free to vent — I know it’s so challenging — and if there’s anything I can do to help you with your clutter, let me know.
Side note: if you sign up for my decluttering guide, you automatically get a series of emails that share more about my perspective and how I approach decluttering. You might find some ideas/perspectives there that will help as well. Scroll up a bit for the form to sign up!
I go in spurts. But having just celebrated my 74th birthday and though I’m in good health I think of what my children would have to deal with if something happened. To date I haven’t missed anything I’ve gotten rid off over the years. I’ll keep working at it.
very useful info
wow thanks need this
very helpful
I know I need to declutter lots in my life. My clothes, many things that I’ve been keeping for so long and my relashionship with my ex. I am starting slowly and I realize that all that clutter is weighing me down and by decluttering I will regain my energy and life back.
Me too!! But its so hard to let go of who I was then. Those clothes that personified my career, my identity back then. Now most don’t fit.
The too many beautiful towels I won’t use.
All those special things with special meanings but that are now just boxed up in storage.
Hundreds of photographs , cards, books, sentimental bits.
So much in storage and I’m overwhelmed as to where to start. Need help with this for sure. An objective opinion.🙏🏻 Especially as I’m moving to a much smaller one bedroom place for myself and my Golden. All the possessions of my life “before” which was a 4 bedroom home, are now weighing me down and overwhelming me.
I have been getting rid of things hope this will motivate me to get rid of more.
please send a copy
Great tips
will take all the help I can get
what a great article! I feel better already. throwing away some shoes for sure or donating. thank you.
Thanks for reading, Judy! Have a lovely week 🙂
Please could you send me the free de cluttering info.
Thanks
Hi Pippa! Just fill out this form: https://workshop.simplyfiercely.com/mindful-decluttering-opt-in-fb/, and it will be automatically sent out. Thanks! 🙂
thank you for putting it all in a clear precise perspective.
If I kept only the clothes I love or even like, I would have only one or two clothes for each season, it’s so difficult to buy good quality and nice clothes when you are over sized in France.
I do remember that when I last visited. Even shoe sizes!
One day I looked at my clothes and said to myself, “This isn’t who I am now”.
Beautiful, wonderful, quality clothes. I could put together an outfit for nearly any occasion. Many worn once, some with price tags attached, and when I tried them on (yes, every item), so many no longer fit. I looked at them with a different vision, who I am now and who I will never be. The acrylics and polyesters and other fabrics that I did not like, were donated. I broke up sets; kept the silk jacket but donated the slacks. The natural fabrics I kept; some could be simply be altered or mended; others deconstructed to become something amazing. Or not. I like who I am now and now by wardrobe is me again.