If you’ve been following me for a while, you know I often say decluttering is about so much more than “getting rid of stuff.” Yes, it clears space in your home — but for me, it’s also been a classroom where I’ve learned some of my most important life lessons.
About love. About loss. And about the courage it takes to let go.
This might sound dramatic, but if you’ve ever felt your heart tighten as you put a beloved item in the donation pile, you’ll know clutter is never just clutter.
Here are five things I’ve learned about life through decluttering.
1. Not Everything Lasts Forever (and That’s OK)
A few years ago, I said goodbye to a pair of leather boots I had worn for nearly a decade. They were expensive — a small fortune at the time — but they served me so well. I wore them through workdays and holidays, city streets and country lanes. It might sound silly, but they literally carried me through seasons of my life.
I was attached … but there came a time when I knew I had to let go.
It stung for a moment (they were so glorious in their prime! And so many memories!) But that chapter in my life had ended, and it was time to move on. Letting go didn’t mean they were a mistake, or that I had failed in some way. It was just the natural end of things — part of the ebbs and flow of life.
That’s a reminder I held close to my heart when a long-term relationship suddenly ended. It wasn’t easy, and at the time, there was so much regret and disappointment. But then I remembered: just because something ends doesn’t mean the good times weren’t real or worthwhile. I loved, and learned — and none of that is erased just because it didn’t last forever.
2. I Don’t Have to Show Up A Certain Way to Be Loved
For years, I thought I had to be a certain type of person to be accepted — wear the right clothes, have the right career, keep the right kind of home. My belongings became part of that performance, a way of signalling, “See? I fit in. I matter.”
But as I decluttered, I slowly began stripping back those layers. First, it was the clothes I bought to impress people (many of whom I didn’t even like). Then, the books I thought I “should” read … or at least, they looked good on my shelves. Piece by piece, each item I let go of was like peeling away another layer of my mask.
In the end, I discovered I didn’t need to try so hard. I didn’t need to twist myself into someone else’s mould. I can exist as I am — imperfect, sometimes messy — and still be worthy of love and belonging. Decluttering gave me the confidence to stop performing and start breathing easier in my own skin.
3. Avoiding Emotions Doesn’t Work
When I was younger, I ran from my feelings. Literally … I lived in five countries before I was 25, always chasing a fresh start. And when that was no longer an option, I turned to shopping instead.
If I felt lonely or unhappy, I’d buy new shoes or a handbag — and for a few hours, I could convince myself I was fine.
But you can only run for so long. Eventually, the emotions catch up, and for me, it happened when I started decluttering. My things were tangled up with memories, regrets, and unspoken feelings, and the only way to let go was to finally face them.
Sometimes that meant tears over a dress I bought for a version of myself who never quite existed. Other times, it meant admitting that I bought things to soothe wounds I hadn’t yet named.
It wasn’t easy — but I learned that you can’t heal by avoiding. You heal by sitting with your feelings, even the hard ones, and then letting go when you’re ready. Decluttering became a practice of honesty with myself, and in that honesty, I found a new type of freedom.
4. Letting Go Creates Space for What’s Next
Decluttering taught me that you can’t catch new opportunities if your hands are full of the past. Letting go doesn’t magically deliver new love, hobbies, or careers — but it does create the possibility for them.
I think of it like tending a garden. You can’t plant fresh seeds if the soil is still crowded with last season’s growth. You have to clear space first, and that clearing can feel painful because it looks like loss.
But it’s also an invitation.
When you release what no longer serves you, you create breathing room in your life. And in that space, something unexpected can grow. For me, that has sometimes looked like rediscovering an old passion, or simply having the mental clarity to see a new opportunity when it appeared.
5. Change Takes Time, Compassion + Curiosity
When I was younger, I wanted instant results. For example, I was a high-school athlete who tried to run again in my twenties. I would train for races, but if I didn’t get the time I hoped for, I would give up (which led to a stop-start pattern for nearly a decade).
I decluttered the same way: all or nothing, followed by discouragement when things crept back in. I thought if I couldn’t do it perfectly and quickly, I had failed.
But now I know that lasting change takes time. It requires patience — but even more importantly, it requires compassion and curiosity.
- Compassion to forgive myself for mistakes and false starts.
- Curiosity to ask why clutter builds up in the first place, and to notice the patterns that shape my choices.
Decluttering has shown me that transformations aren’t about quick fixes. It’s about staying with yourself, even when it’s uncomfortable, and trusting that small, steady steps add up. (A lesson that brought me back to running after a fourteen-year hiatus, and I finally stuck around long enough to run my first half-marathon!)
All this to say: When you bring patience, compassion, and curiosity to the process, the journey itself becomes a kind of love story — one where you learn to show up for yourself, again and again.
Final Thoughts
Decluttering has cleared more than shelves in my home. It has taught me about love, loss, and the quiet courage it takes to let go. It’s not always easy, but it has been profoundly worth it.
When you look back at the things you’ve let go of — whether it’s a pair of boots, a dream, or even a relationship — what has it taught you?
Keep Reading
If you enjoyed this article, you might also like one of these:
Letting Go When Decluttering: How to Make Peace with Uncertainty – We don’t want to make choices we’ll regret while decluttering, so how do we overcome the fear of letting go? This perspective will help you come to terms with uncertainty.
4 Types of Clutter Challenges + How to Tackle Them – Different types of clutter require different strategies. Find out my top tips for overcoming your biggest decluttering challenges!
How I Became a Minimalist: My Story of Living with Less – Learn more about my journey from shopaholic to minimalist
4 Reasons to Declutter Your Home That You May Not Have Considered – If you’re looking for reasons to declutter or just wondering what the hype is about, keep reading to hear more about my experience and some of the unexpected benefits of letting go.
Bravo Jen! This is the best, most honest thing written about decluttering I have ever read. Getting rid of the physical things is often hard but not nearly as hard as getting rid of the mental and emotional clutter. I wholeheartedly agree that it is never just about the stuff. Your stuff is really a symptom of what is weighing on your heart and mind.
Thank you for your kind words, Julie! And absolutely — clutter is almost always a symptom of something else, which is why approaching it with compassion and kindness is so powerful.