How to Stop Buying Clothes You Never Wear

Is one of your goals to stop buying clothes that you never wear? If so, I’ve got some tips that will help! 

I have a lot of experience buying clothes and then never wearing them. For more than a decade, I was a shopaholic, and I can honestly say I wasted tens of thousands of dollars on clothes that never left my closet. (Ouch.)

Back then, I thought this was just a self-control problem — that I was bad with money, bad at shopping, or bad at knowing what suited me. I would beat myself up and hide clothes in the back of my closet, so I didn’t have to see them.

But what I know now is that shopping (especially for clothes) is complicated.

Here’s everything I’ve learned about why we shop, why certain things go unworn, and how to change your habits. These tips have helped me transform my wardrobe and those of the women I’ve worked with since.

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Why You Keep Buying Clothes You Never Wear

Before we can talk about changing a habit, it helps to understand why it happens in the first place. After all, you can’t solve a problem if you don’t know what’s causing it! 

So let’s take a closer look. Here are the top four reasons why we buy clothes and then don’t end up wearing them.

1. You’re in a transition period

First and foremost, I want you to know that there will be seasons of life when we buy clothes and don’t wear them — and it’s completely normal.

Our bodies change, our lifestyles change, and our needs change. Sometimes we don’t know what to wear, and it’s hard to figure out without buying them, taking them home, and testing them out.

For example, after my first child, I had NO idea how to dress my postpartum body. I’d buy things thinking they would work, but then quickly realise it was hard to breastfeed, or I wasn’t comfortable.

At the time, I was ashamed and angry with myself. I was a blogger who wrote about decluttering! Why didn’t I know better! But since then, I’ve learned to show myself more compassion. Sometimes we don’t know what we don’t know, and that’s OK.

What matters is that we do our best to learn from experience … which brings me to the next point.

2. You’re not clear on your personal style

Another common reason we buy clothes we don’t wear is that we’re not clear on our personal style — and I don’t mean ‘personal style’ the way it’s often described in magazines (classic versus boho, for example).

It’s not the label that matters; it’s clarity about what you genuinely enjoy wearing. And one place we get stuck is confusing what we admire on other people with what we want to wear ourselves.

For example, there was a time when I would have told you that I loved vintage fashion. I especially loved 40s-style tea dresses, and back then, I owned a huge collection. In fact, I nearly started a fashion blog dedicated to them!

But here’s the thing: despite my obsession, most of my dresses hung in my closet unworn.

This is because I thought they were beautiful — just like you might admire a piece in a museum — but I didn’t enjoy wearing them. They were uncomfortable, they didn’t suit my lifestyle, or my body shape. I loved the idea of wearing them, but it always felt like I was trying to stuff myself (sometimes quite literally!) into something that wasn’t right for me.

When I’d get dressed, I always found myself reaching for simpler designs: a-line linen dresses or cotton t-shirts. I felt most like myself when I wore things that were effortless, but it took me ages to realise this. In my mind, I was more fashion-forward, but in reality, I always choose simplicity.

3. You make emotional purchases

And to be clear, this isn’t the same thing as saying you’re overly emotional or bad with money! I make this point because I think it’s what most people associate with ’emotional purchases’ (and in fairness, it’s often presented that way).

But if we withhold judgment and look at ourselves with kindness and compassion, we can often track purchases back to an emotional need.

For example, if someone makes a comment that leaves you feeling insecure about your body, you might find yourself drawn to something you think is “slimming”.

But at the end of the day, nothing you buy can truly change how you feel about yourself. Yes, you might feel better temporarily, but if the unspoken reason behind your purchase was “I’m going to buy this so I don’t feel the pain of insecurity,” your decision-making criteria will be skewed.

You’re not thinking about what you’ll truly wear. You’re thinking, what can I buy that will make me feel better right now?

This is true of all purchases, but it’s especially true with clothing. When we try on something new, it can feel like we’re putting on a suit of armour—and it’s a way of protecting ourselves when we feel vulnerable. Here are some examples:

• Feeling left out? But a trendy item, so you fit in with the crowd.
• Feeling unsuccessful? Buy a designer item, so people know that you’re “successful”. 
• Feeling unattractive? Buy new makeup … or 4-inch stiletto heels (my personal vice for years). 

These items don’t always go unworn, and it’s not “wrong” to buy things to make yourself feel better. But when emotions motivate your shopping, it often leads to regretful purchases.

4. You’re influenced by others

Again, this can feel confronting — I don’t like to think that other people influence my decisions! But there’s a lot of evidence behind mimentic theory and how others influence our desires.

(The book Wanting by Luke Burgis is an interesting read on this topic if you’re interested. Support my work by using this affiliate link.)

It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but recognising it can be a powerful way to transform your shopping habits. Here are some of the ways influence can show up:

Sometimes it’s as simple as buying a certain style because it’s what all your friends love. After all, shopping can be a really social activity, and it’s easy to get caught up in the moment! 

Other times, it’s a bit more complicated. 

There’s no denying that TV, magazines and social media can also influence us. When you see your favourite Instagrammer wearing a gorgeous dress and drinking cocktails by the pool, sometimes it’s hard not to buy into the fantasy. You want the dress because you want the life they’re portraying—even if it doesn’t suit your personal style. 

Retailers also try to influence you by creating an in-store fantasy. Everything from the music they play to the shop displays—or even how a store smells—is carefully curated.

It’s about so much more than selling you clothes. Instead, they’re trying to sell you a lifestyle … and if they’re successful, you end up buying clothes that might not suit who you really are.

How to Stop Buying Clothes You Never Wear

OK, now that we’ve talked about why you keep buying clothes you never wear, let’s look at some techniques that will help you change your shopping behaviour.

1. Recognise your shopping triggers

My number one tip is to recognise your shopping triggers. Observe yourself for a few weeks—what happens in the moments immediately before you feel the desire to shop? 

• Did someone upset you? 
• Are you procrastinating doing a difficult task?
• Did you walk by a favourite shop? 
• Are you comparing yourself to someone on the internet?

When your motivation to buy new clothes is inspired by anything other than an intentional choice to update your wardrobe, you’re more likely to buy clothes you don’t wear. You’re not in the right headspace, so you’re more likely to be influenced by sales, shop displays, and “helpful” sales associates. 

But once you know your shopping triggers, you can put guardrails in place.

Related Post: How to Stop Online Shopping (Tips From a Former Shopaholic)

2. Do a wardrobe audit

One thing I always recommend to clients, whether they’re decluttering their closets or trying to change their shopping habits, is that they do a wardrobe audit. It’s fun, insightful, and it can save you thousands of dollars.

I teach my clients how to do this using my Style Standard Method (you get step-by-step instructions and a detailed workbook) as part of the One Day Closet Cleanse, but here are the key concepts:

• Look closely at what you wear most often. What do these items have in common?
• Next, look at the clothes you never or rarely wear. What patterns do you see?

Look at things like necklines, colours, and even fabrics — and I can almost guarantee you’ll learn something about what you do or don’t wear. (This is how you tell the difference between what you like on other people and what you actually wear yourself.) 

Jot down some notes, refer to them when you’re shopping, and I can almost guarantee that you’ll start making better choices.

3. Pause before you buy and plan to shop

My final tip is a “two for one” deal: Stop making impulse purchases by learning to pause before you buy—and an easy way to do this is to plan to shop. 

You press “pause” by putting some space between the impulse to shop and the actual purchase. There are two key reasons for doing this. 

First, it will help you avoid making impulsive, emotional decisions. If you’re shopping out of anger, frustration, or insecurity… well, these feelings tend fade with time. Sometimes we just need to blow off steam or invest in a little self-care. Once we do, the desire to shop completely disappears. 

A pause also creates space to reflect on your priorities and style, away from outside influences. Even five or ten minutes can create much-needed clarity!

But if you really want to change your habits, I encourage you to take things a step further. Find a rhythm that works for you (once every few months or once a season) and create a plan to shop.

Take your time making a list, reflecting on your wardrobe audit, and doing your research. It takes some patience, but I can almost guarantee this one habit will change the type of purchases you make and lead to a more thoughtful, intentional wardrobe.

Want to Simplify Your Wardrobe

If buying fewer clothes is part of a greater plan to simplify your wardrobe, be sure ot checkout:

• Behind the Scenes: A Minimalist Wardrobe Tour (Video) – It’s a few years old now, but many people have told me it was helpful to see a “realistic” minimalist wardrobe.
• 20 of my top Minimalist Wardrobe Tips – This post isn’t about the minimalist aesthetic or dressing in all neutrals. Instead, it answers the question: How do I create a wardrobe that reflects the lifestyle I want?
• 7 Reasons Why You Struggle to Declutter Clothes + What to Do About It – Many people find clothes the hardest to declutter. Here’s why — and what to do about it.  

Do you find it hard to stop buying clothes? If so, what do you struggle with the most? Alternatively, do you have a shopping tip you’d like to share? Let us know in the comments! x