5 Lessons That Changed My Life for the Better

For years, I believed that if I just worked hard and made the “right” choices, things would naturally fall into place. That’s what we’re told, right? Stay on track, and life will reward you.

Except… that wasn’t my experience.

By thirty, I found myself wondering why I felt stuck despite following all the “rules”. It wasn’t until I started questioning things—and making different choices—that I realised what was missing. Here are five lessons that helped me shift my perspective and live more intentionally. Maybe some of these will resonate with you too.

5 Lessons That Changed My Life for the Better in white letters on a translucent black overlay on an image of a mug, an open book, and a plant on a white desk.

1. Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it.

Growing up, I was always good at math, and I naturally excelled in roles that were structured, logical, and analytical. Writing and creative activities, on the other hand, didn’t come as easily to me, so I never saw them as viable career options.

In fact, I told myself, “I’m just not good at writing.”

Because of this, I spent years in jobs that I was good at but didn’t actually enjoy. I felt like it would be a waste of my potential to do anything else.

This went on for years before I allowed myself to write as a hobby (with no expectations of it evolving into anything more). Then, it took even longer for me to find the courage to pursue it professionally!

But what helped me was looking at my future and knowing how disappointed I’d be if I spent the next 10 years doing the same thing—working a “safe” job but feeling depressed and uninspired. Now, my career is less conventional and sometimes harder to explain, but I wake up feeling excited about what I do.

Key takeaway: Being skilled at something doesn’t mean it’s your life’s purpose. On the contrary, sometimes “settling” is the true waste of your potential.

2. It’s not selfish or silly to want “more” out of life, even if you have no idea what that might look like.

For a long time, I had big dreams—I wanted to be self-employed, I wanted flexibility, and I wanted to do meaningful work. I had no idea what that might look like, but I was cautiously optimistic about the future.

Then, one day, I shared my dreams with a friend who told me I was being unrealistic. He told me I needed to accept my life because “that’s what being an adult is.”

Our conversation stuck with me because it was a reflection of my own fears. I worried that I was asking for too much and that I was being ungrateful because I didn’t have a bad life. But deep down, I knew I wanted more.

This continued for years—I felt restless and unsatisfied—until I found change in an unexpected place: minimalism.

At first, I just wanted to clean out my closet, but that simple act opened the door to something much bigger. Simplifying helped me create space for possibility; as I decluttered and simplified my life, I reduced my financial obligations and gave myself breathing room to experiment.

Eventually, I started blogging and teaching, and little by little, I carved out a life that felt more aligned with what I truly wanted.

Key takeaway: The path to a more fulfilling life isn’t always clear. You need space to experiment, and simplifying can help. Give yourself permission to try new things—and to change direction when you need to.

3. There’s a fine line between what you want and what you think you have to do.

A quick story about choices and expectations.

I grew up believing that getting a college degree was the most important thing I could do. Education has always been one of my core values, and as a first-generation American, doing something “better” with your life is a message you hear from day one.

So, like many others, I went to college.

But when I arrived, I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to study. I changed majors five times, juggling two jobs along the way, and still couldn’t find anything that felt right. I wasn’t lacking motivation—I was exhausted and unsure of my purpose. I felt lost.

Looking back, I can see that what I really needed was a break. I’m not against higher education, but at the time, I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I wasn’t following my curiosity; Instead, I was drowning under pressure, student loan debt, and a desire to do the “right” thing.

In the end, I didn’t finish my degree. I don’t regret it, but I do wish someone had told me it was okay to pause, to question things, and to trust my gut.

Now, whenever I feel that sense of obligation creeping in, I pause and ask: Why am I doing this? Who am I doing it for? That one question helps me separate what I truly want from what I think I have to do.

Ask Yourself: If no one was watching, what choice would I make? This question has the power to change your life.

4. 9 out of 10 times… someday never comes.

For years, I told myself I’d prioritise certain things someday. Someday, I’d slow down. Someday, I’d make more time for my health, and someday, I’d read all those books on my shelf.

But I kept putting things off, assuming I had plenty of time.

Losing my brother at the age of 21 shattered that illusion. I hadn’t seen him much in the years leading up to his death, and that regret weighed heavily on me. It was a cold, hard splash of reality.

But even after that wake-up call, I struggled to make real changes. I knew life was fragile, but I still let it slip away in the name of being “busy.” I worked long hours, shopped too much, obsessed over my home, and did all the things I thought I had to do. But at what cost?

Finally, I knew something had to change, and this was another motivator in simplifying my life. I didn’t want to keep postponing what mattered. I realised that “someday” is never guaranteed, so I started making small, intentional changes to prioritise the things that truly mattered.

These days, it looks like taking imperfect action—starting before I’m ready or even when I feel like I don’t have time. But my life is richer for it, and I’m grateful to my brother for teaching me this lesson while I still had time to live it.

Reality Check: “Someday” is a sneaky way of saying never. Accepting this truth can change your life.

5. Well-meaning people will give you bad advice.

People love to give advice, and most of the time, they mean well. But that doesn’t mean they’re right.

I’ve experienced this a lot in my business. There are so many gurus and experts with strong opinions on what works and what doesn’t. For a long time, I took their advice to heart—so much so that I ignored my own instincts. I second-guessed myself constantly and made things far harder than they needed to be.

I’ve since learned that while expert advice can be valuable, it should never override your own inner knowing.

It’s not always easy, especially when the people discouraging you truly mean well. (I first learned this lesson when I decided to leave school and travel—an idea that shocked many!) But trusting myself led to some of the most transformative experiences of my life.

These days, I try to make decisions more intentionally by asking myself: Am I doing this because it truly feels right for me, or just because I feel pressured or influenced?

I still learn and appreciate the wisdom of others. However, I evaluate decisions against my own inner compass instead of blindly following others.

Lesson Learned: Not all advice is meant for you. Trusting yourself can change your life.

A Note About Circumstance

Before I wrap up, I want to acknowledge something important: sometimes, we have to do things we don’t want to do. For example, there have been many times that I have stuck it out in jobs I’m good at but disliked because I didn’t have the luxury of doing other things.

The same applies to many of our other choices. Often, our circumstances keep us stuck in places we don’t want to be. That’s just the reality of the world we live in.

However, there’s also no denying the impact of our thoughts and choices. While there are parts of life that may feel out of our hands, there are also many where we have options.

The challenge is to stay focused on what we can change instead of getting stuck on what we can’t.

Final Thoughts On Living Intentionally

These life lessons taught me intentional living isn’t about getting everything right. Instead, it’s about a willingness to pause, question, and choose purposefully.

If you’re looking for more tips or guidance on intentional living, you might like to check out these posts for more context and ideas: